The Black Stuff

This is his career highlight

When a back marker team has a bit of a short fall in their budget, Sakon Yamamoto has become the go to guy. He is the poster boy for all the reasons why pay drivers are detrimental to F1 and is only on the grid because of the rather monstrous size of his wallet. Pay drivers are, and always have been, a staple of F1 but the difference between Petrov, Perez and Maldonado and Yamamoto is at least the formers have shown various amounts of potential. Sakon, though, is nothing more than a budget filler.

Well, that is unless you’re Virgin.

The sophomore team have decided to make Sakon Yamamoto their third driver for the first three races of the season. He isn’t expected to get any track time in that time of course, but that doesn’t matter. He spent an entire year as a part of Renault’s Young Driver program once and was never let within 10ft of a car, it was just done so that Renault could collect some of Yamamoto’s money.

Virgin, though, haven’t snapped Yamamoto up for those exact same reasons. Of course not. They’ve signed him up to nurture the 28 year old with 21 Grand Prixs under his belt for three teams as a young driver. Seriously, they have. That is the reason they gave. I’ll even quote the press release:

In keeping with our commitment to nurturing young talent, our reserve driver strategy is to help a number of drivers gain hard to come by track time and so we will be operating a roster featuring a number of racers that we are interested in evaluating during the forthcoming season.

And that is the reason why they’ve signed Yamamoto. To nurture young talent and help them come across hard to come by track time. Absolutely nothing to do with plugging a hole in the budget. Honest.

Meanwhile, grid girls continue to get prettier

For those of you who had successfully purged the ins and outs of the Lotus naming row from your minds, allow me to render all those nights of bashing your head with a steel pole while necking whisky moot and remind you.

Last year Tony Fernandes entered a team in F1 called Lotus Racing after licensing the name from Proton, the owners of the Lotus brand. However, at some point last year Lotus CEO Dany Bahar decided to go on the offensive and launched Lotus Racing programs in most other major forms of motor sport. As a part of this, he then (depending on who you believe) either cancelled the license agreement with Fernandes or offered them awful terms to buy them or something. All that mattered is that Fernandes no longer had Lotus’ permission to use the Lotus name in F1.

However, this didn’t sit well with Tony, as he had made a significant emotional investment into making his squad the second coming of the Colin Chapman era Lotus team. This lead to Fernandes buying the rights to the Team Lotus name from David Hunt and announcing that in 2011 they’d be racing under that name. However, Bahar had already made Lotus the principal sponsor of the Renault team, leading to the confusing situation of having two Lotus Renault teams in F1.

Lawsuits and allegations then were abound, and its wound up in the British High Court, with the long and short of it being Bahar not thinking that Fernandes has the right to run his cars under the Team Lotus name and Tony thinking he does.

However, throughout it all, Fernandes had enjoyed the backing of both the Chapman family and David Hunt. Last year, though, the Chapmans announced that they would be lobbying for Bahar’s Lotus team as at the end of the day, they were backed by the actual Lotus company and not somebody with just a license agreement. Now it appears that Hunt too is swapping sides.

In various places today, you have David Hunt saying that Team Lotus have changed their minds over the terms of the deal that should see them run under that name in 2011, while Team Lotus are saying that Hunt is trying to go back on the same deal. This obviously means that now the person who sold Fernandes the rights to run as Team Lotus has left their camp, although it is unclear as to whether Hunt will back the Bahar backed Lotus Renault outfit.

Honestly, I’ve completely forgotten where this post was going. This Lotus thing is a big old mess. After launching his team as the descendants of Team Lotus you can see why Fernandes doesn’t want to abandon that tenant, but at the same time you can see why Bahar doesn’t want a stray Lotus brand in F1. Until recently, Tony had the backing of the Chapman Family and Hunt, but now that support is gone. Right now nobody looks good, and I can’t even sum this post up with what I think is right. All I know is that with Fernandes losing the support of Hunt, or Hunt trying to renegotiate with Fernandes, or whatever happened, the historical support he had enjoyed is pretty much gone. This situation is just damn ugly.

Wings? Like the ones that will make me fly? OH HELL YEAH!

Sebastian Vettel is a lot of things; the best hot lap driver in F1 today, the youngest World Champion in history, a German with a sense of humour and somebody who brings in web traffic whenever you mention his name. However, unfortunately Seb hasn’t quite gotten the politics side of F1 down quite yet.

In an sound bite published in The Mirror, Vettel warned that it is not completely out of the question for the drivers to refuse to race if they feel that the DRS (‘Drag Reduction System’ – the posh name for their stupid flappy rear wings) is unsafe. In full, he said;

“The most important thing is that the drivers are together. If we all agree on something then we can be very powerful. We can say, ‘OK, we are not racing’. That doesn’t necessarily mean we will go on strike. We’ll try to find a solution with the FIA first.”

As far as I can recall, drivers have only refused to race one in recent times – the ill fated 2005 American Grand Prix where Michelin tyres couldn’t handle the banking of the Indianapolis circuit and developed a nasty exploding problem. This lead to all the field bar the 6 Bridgestone cars – Ferrari, Jordan and Minardi – parking after the parade lap.

Now, Seb is saying that if the DRS becomes a safety issue, the drivers are thinking about doing it again. However, just to nip this in the bud, lets point out that there is a much simpler reaction to the DRS system than refusing to race:

Just don’t use it.

The same as KERS was supposed to be used last year until all the teams got together and agreed not to, there is nothing saying that the teams can’t do the same this year with the DRS. Rather than do something silly and extreme like go on strike, the drivers and teams can all get together and agree not to use it. The sentiment is the same for everyone in F1 at the minute – we’ll give the DRS a go, but if it is unsafe then we’ll want it scrapped. This should make it quite easy to get everyone together to agree not to use it.

The concerns of the drivers over the safety of the DRS are very real indeed – the system will be used at high speeds and in close proximity to another car. At their peak, the cars are already going about 90m/s, meaning missing a braking point by just two tenths will result in them overshooting a corner by a few metres. At that speed, a car in front braking early could be fatal. Plus faffing around with the DRS is just another distraction for the drivers as they attempt to wrestle with the fastest racing cars on earth.

The DRS will be a challenge and something that will take time to win over the drivers, however hopefully it will all work out and F1 will have some exciting new tech in it.

Try not to look too excited there Lewis...

Although you can never tell too much from pre-season testing, you can often get an idea of the big things. One such big thing is that McLaren are in serious trouble. Their car looks slow in long runs, has been hampered by reliability issues and – to paraphrase Martin Brundle – handles like a dog. Although McLaren have shown that they can turn cars around pretty sharpish, it doesn’t look like they’re going to be doing very well early in the year.

This begs the question of why – McLaren exited last year with two drivers in the podium, had two drivers battling for the WDC until the last handful of races and have two recent World Champions driving for them. How can they fall back so far?

Well, as always I have a theory, and for once it doesn’t involve ancient Aztec calendars and 2012. This one involves the two World Champions whom McLaren covert.

Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton really are chalk and cheese when it comes to driving. Jenson is smooth, likes oodles of understeer and needs complete control over the car. Lewis, on the other hand, is far more ferocious, likes oodles of oversteer and prefers a more wild car, sort of like a 220mph kart. This begs the question of whether McLaren have tried to create a car which suits both – the two extremes of F1 driving styles – and in doing so, have created something in the middle which is a bit naff?

As one of the few top teams with two ‘number one’ drivers (Mercedes are arguably the only other top team to have two drivers on equal footing), McLaren are in a slightly unique position. Unlike at least half the grid, McLaren aren’t concerned about just making sure they get a semi-decent car on track and taking it from there, nor do they have the safety net of building a car that their number one driver can do well in and telling the other to suck it up. They have to build a race winning car that can be driven by two people with polar opposite driving styles.

This is obviously a huge undertaking, even for a team as on the ball as McLaren. Thanks to Button’s Brawn contract in 2009, he didn’t really work in depth on last years McLaren, leaving Lewis to do most of the heavy lifting. This years McLaren is much more of a joint effort, and as a result doesn’t appear to be able to suit either driver.

Again, I would be hugely shocked if McLaren weren’t back on pace as early as the start of the European season, but it will be interesting to see if the car’s development favours one driver. I’m not saying that having such a diverse driver line up as McLaren do is the root cause of their issues, as sometimes teams just turn up off the pace, however it will be interesting to watch this season as McLaren try to provide a competitive car to both a smooth and understeering driver and an aggressive, oversteering one.

If the car gets better generally then McLaren will once again prove their amazing prowess at overcoming obstacles, however if just one driver moves up the grid then it may serve as proof that the team have far bigger issues to deal with.

Sign a contract? CAN IT BE IN MY OWN BLOOD!?

Two big contracts have been signed in the last few hours in F1. The first sees reigning World Champion Sebastian Vettel ink a deal that will see him stay with Red Bull Racing until at least the end of the 2014 campaign, while the second sees Lewis Hamilton sign up to be a pop star or something.

Vettel’s deal with RBR makes sense – make no mistake about it, Webber’s current success is a massive inconvenience for RBR as Vettel is their guy. It also locks up a World Champion with a good drive for a few more years, and ensures RBR won’t lose their star guy to Mercedes, who seem determined to have a spin with the young German before he takes his seemingly inevitable place at Ferrari.

Lewis Hamilton, on the other hand, has signed up to be in S Club 7 or something, having joined Simon Fuller’s XIX Management, following proudly in the footsteps of Emma Bunton, Rachael Stevens and Samantha Ronson. Okay, fine, Simon Fuller does also look after the Beckhams and Andy Murray.

To be honest, I’m not that surprised at Lewis’ decision to get somebody in the entertainment world to manage his career. He’s pretty settled at the minute with McLaren and only really needs a manager to exploit his fame in order to grow his brand, get endorsements and other such financially driven things. Although weirdly he thinks that signing up with the manager of the Spice Girls will make him a better racing driver…

I guess you could read into the fact that Hamilton chose somebody outside of F1 – and outside of McLaren’s trusted circle, with Mika Hakkinen previously thought to be a favourite to manage Lewis – to manage his career, but that would be a stretch. As much as we get on at the guy here, he is one of F1′s four elite drivers and hopefully now he hasn’t got to manage his own career he can put a bit more time into that McLaren. Lewis getting any manager is a step in the right direction for the lad.

Good News Everybody! After playing Mario Kart I've got some more ideas...

The other day, Bernie let loose with his latest thoughts on this and that. As per usual he was spurting his usual mixture of cold hard common sense and the kind of stuff that you can only think of after eating a whole block of cheddar before bed. In the latter category, the idea of holding artificially wet races was floated.

Usually ideas like that are just Bernie’s way of bargaining – he’ll float out an insane idea and everybody will be so eager to avoid it, they’ll settle for one of his less bat crap crazy ideas that Bernie actually wanted all along. It’s amazing people don’t see it coming.

However, Pirelli – who are new to the modern F1 game after only coming in as tyre supplier this year – clearly haven’t cottoned on to that fact yet. As a result, they’re actually supporting Bernie’s wet race idea.

Via AutoSport, who broke the story (and then broke into tears…), we get this mindfuck of a quote from Pirelli Motorsport boss Paul Hembery:

“A good example of a radical idea in the sport that have been accepted is the Singapore Grand Prix. You could argue that running at night under lights is a gimmick. But it has turned out to be one of the most spectacular races of the season… Couldn’t you in fact argue that a street circuit itself is gimmicky? After all, you have created a circuit out of normal roads… I would agree that something fake like throwing in safety cars frequently to close the field up if they got too spread out would be going too far, but in terms of throwing something of a new challenge, like an artificial wet race, at drivers, tacticians and engineers, it would be great.”

Just… just… ouch. In one foul swoop, Hembery has said that Monaco – one of the greatest circuits in the world – is a gimmick, that holding a night race is a gimmick despite the fact that it’s done the world over in dozens of other forms of motor sport and said that wetting the track at a pre-determined time would be a tactical challenge. I’m not too sure you can be more brazenly idiotic. Has the guy even watched F1 before?

Let me say this once, just so we’re clear: Artificial wet races are a terrible idea on so many levels. At the most basic level you have the fact that while there is no doubt that wet races are special, they’re a bit like Christmas – if you have them every day, you get bored of them. Then you have the competitive level, where F1 is all about being the pinnacle of motorsport, not a 200mph cheap gimmick. Plus you also get the fanboy level – nothing on earth is like that surge of excitement you get when you turn on the telly for a Grand Prix and see the presenters huddled under an umbrella because it’s tipping it down.

This is a terrible idea. Bernie saying it is one thing – he says a lot of things and you get desensitised – but having people agree with him is just concerning. F1 is what F1 is, it shouldn’t resort to cheap ITV-on-a-Saturday-night gimmicks and cheapen itself.

If Pirelli think this is a good idea, they should pack their bags and go home now as they clearly don’t understand F1.

I have no idea what Rubens was implying about Kubica's nose...

The F1 paddock is obviously a relatively close knit group of people, and so when one of their own gets injured all the drivers feel it. This sense of unity and well wishing has lead to the F1 drivers recording get well messages for Kubica, which have been sewn together and put up on the F1 website. The piece is well worth a look, although be warned for some reason it takes about a decade to buffer.

Amongst the highlights of the video:

• All the drivers uniformly requesting that Kubica get back to the grid ASAFP so that they can win back the money they lost to him playing poker last season
• Rubens Barrichello suggesting that during one of his surgeries, the doctors could have taken a bit off Kubica’s nose…
• A very nervous looking Vitaly Petrov saying that Kubica just needs to call if he needs anything, although he isn’t sure if his teammate even has his number
• An even more nervous Nick Heidfeld opening up his message with “You’re probably not too pleased to see me…”
• All the drivers, especially those who dueled with Kubica in junior formulas, pointing out that despite not having an elite car, he is most definitely an elite driver.

I still haven’t gotten my head round having a Grand Prix season without Kubica. The R31 looks like a real beast of a car, and with him behind the wheel anything could have been possible.

Lets hope that he’s back by mid-season, in line with the most optimistic of projections, and can take advantage of that great bit of machinery in order to add a few more wins to the sole one currently on his CV.

Get well soon Sir Jackie!

Bad news peoples.

Sir Jackie Stewart – 27 times Grand Prix winner, three time F1 Champion, former team owner and the one time purveyor of a Grade A mullet – was taken ill on a flight to London this morning. In a rather scary turn of events, the legend had some chest pains and fainted onboard before receiving some first aid from a stewardess.

After landing Sir Jackie was taken to hospital for checks, however thankfully it is looking like this was a scare rather than a serious health issue. Apparently Jackie is fine and the doctors are just trying to figure out what caused his turn.

All of us here at The Black Stuff would like to offer our best to Jackie and hope to see him back out and about as soon as possible!

Good News Everyone! Next week I'm championing Short Cuts again!

Don’t get me wrong, I am generally one of Bernie’s fans. I fully appreciate that we would not have modern day F1 without him. That being said, when he opens his mouth, what comes out sometimes scares me.

Talking to the Official F1 website, Bernie shared some of his views on modern F1 racing. Lets just say what he said wasn’t exactly reassuring for racing purists that the future of F1 is in good hands… [Read the rest of this entry...]

Red Bull aren't exactly new to baffling advertising...

Right, try to follow my train of thought on this one. I promise you it is several times harder than it sounds…

Okay, from this season onwards, Red Bull Racing will be sponsored by car manufacturer Infiniti. As a part of this sponsorship deal, Red Bull Racing will get their Renault engines for free (they are currently the only top team who has to pay for engines). This is because Infiniti are some luxury or youth orientated or eco-friendly or whatever brand of Nissan, who are global partners with French car manufacuter Renault who supply the engines to Team Lotus Renault, Lotus Renault and Red Bull Racing.

Currently, the deal is purely a sponsorship one, and the engines which RBR use are not to be rebranded as Infiniti, although Infiniti’s logo will appear on the RB7 itself and drivers’ overalls. However, this deal will eventually expand into a tech deal, but Infiniti the car manufacturer who are entering F1 to expand their brand worldwide have no plans to actually build anything for F1.

Did that give you a headache too?